Tips for a Peaceful Pregnancy

My friend treated baby and me to brunch this morning. We had the best time sitting and chatting. Our table was a small circle that hardly fit our chocolate chip pancakes. Our seats were cozy but a bit too low. For three hours, the weather oscillated between sunny Miami skies and heavy rain and wind. Inside, we chatted away.

We spoke about work, our husbands, and baby. My friend had lots of questions about pregnancy and what life has been like. I love it when other people want to talk about baby. Being pregnant can be all-consuming, and it is such a relief to be able to talk about it without worrying about boring your brunch date.

My friend told me that I seemed so peaceful pregnant. She called me “goals” actually. That made me smile! I have felt at peace during my pregnancy, more and more so as time passes by and baby grows. Here are my tips I jotted down after my car ride home.

1. Tell them that you’re feeling great.

Since becoming pregnant, and especially since I started showing enough that people confidently assume I’m pregnant, everyone that I see looks at me with a soft smile and asks how I’m feeling. I get asked anywhere from 10-100 times per day. 90% of the time, I respond that I am feeling great.

Half of the time, it’s true, and half of the time, it’s not. Often, I say I’m feeling great, and I’m so grateful for such an easy pregnancy when really I’m feeling exhausted or experiencing discomfort somewhere.

It’s so important!

I promise that if you respond 100 times a day, saying “I am so tired and uncomfortable.” you will not stop feeling tired and uncomfortable. If you respond with joy and gratitude, you’ll feel more joy and gratitude, even on a hard day.

2. Have very few expectations.

People will tell you that every pregnancy is different. Then, they will tell you that sleep is going to get harder or eating is going to get easier. In reality, they have no idea what is going to happen. No one does.

Mentally, my hardest few weeks of pregnancy were the first few weeks of my second trimester. I napped a lot during the first trimester, which is not like me. I was a bit frustrated to be so sleepy all of the time. “Just wait until the first trimester ends,” everyone told me, “then you will have so much energy”. Even google told me that once I hit that 12 week mark, all of my energy would rush back.

I believe it was the beginning of December when I hit 12 weeks. Work was picking up, my friends had just moved away, and the sun was setting early. I waited for my energy to come back, and when it didn’t, I felt so frustrated with myself.

I had these big expectations that at 12 weeks, my energy would come back, and it didn’t until around week 15. For three weeks, I felt so frustrated with myself for being “lazy”. Looking back on it, that is so silly.

Michael recently read a book that said, “I’ve never met a baby who can read a calendar.” I put so much pressure on that 12-week mark as a result of totally unrealistic expectations.

3. Get steamy.

Michael installed a second shower head into our shower before I had even moved my stuff in to our new home. We take most of our showers together.

When I saw my midwife a few weeks back, she added sex to the list of things to do during pregnancy, alongside working out, drinking enough water, and getting enough sleep. “Keep doing it,” she told me “A lot of couples don’t.”

If you have the luxury of showering with your husband, do it! And, keep having sex.

4. Find your balance between pushing yourself and giving yourself grace.

I am grateful to be working during my pregnancy. I am very active at work, and it keeps me busy. Some days, it’s really hard. Most nights, I’m exhausted.

It’s not easy to find this balance, and I think it’s the tip that I am still working on the most. Michael and I have always valued cooking dinner together every night. I want to continue to prioritize the time that we spend together. It’s important for our marriage. I also love my job and work very hard running around all day. Some days, being my best at work and home seems impossible. As much as I hate to admit it, it probably is impossible.

I am very lucky to have a very supportive environment at work and at home. I want to give my all to both, and I do not think it’s wrong to push yourself during pregnancy. As pregnant women, we are still very capable!

It’s all about finding the right balance.

I hope that this helps! I’d love to hear what helped other moms approach pregnancy with excitement, joy, and grace. Share in the comments!

With love,

Kristen Mary Carolan

Leave a Reply