My Little Life in New York

I visited my family in New York last weekend. Friday morning we went out to breakfast. My brother headed off to school, and my dad, to work. My mom, my sisters, and I went out for warm fall drinks and pastries. We were “playing hooky” according to my cousin.

We shared all of the most exciting life updates, and we gossiped a bit. We talked about mornings spent together, as kids, eating bagels around the kitchen table.

“I wish this was what every Friday looked like,” I thought. I miss this.

We returned home from breakfast, and Erin, Madeline, and I went out on our front lawn. We played volleyball together and listened to Taylor Swift. The New York air was crisp, and I wore my favorite sweater. Neighbors drove by and waved out their windows. Last weekend was really special, and this morning was the highlight. A perfect morning, I would argue.

By 1 p.m., Madeline drove back to school, and Erin went upstate for the weekend for a volleyball tournament. My brother Jack was still at school, my dad was at work, and my mom went upstairs to read her book. My morning bubble popped just a bit.

Sometimes, I worry about my move to Miami. I miss my family. I want my future children to grow up surrounded by love like I did. When I have mornings like this, I think, “Should I be doing this every morning?”.

Today, I am back in Miami. It is Saturday morning. This morning, Michael and I had pancakes, and then we went for a walk. Now, I am sitting on my warm balcony. My new plant is flowering, and I am drinking a tall, cool glass of water. I feel really good.

If I lived in New York, I would not spend every morning drinking a cup of tea slowly and laughing over muffins. I would spend most mornings doing laundry, rushing to work, or calling my mom to say hi, just like I do now. Sometimes, I worry that I am missing out on a life of breakfast, followed by a walk with my mom every morning, and dinner, followed by a board game every night. Unfortunately and fortunately, this life does not exist.

For now, I will continue loving my life here. Michael and I are figuring out marriage—and loving doing so. I am creating a new community around me. I am enjoying work and finding ways to volunteer.

The trips I take to visit family are so special. We all prioritize time together (and even take “sick days” from work). We cherish mornings spent eating bagels and evenings at the table with a board game. I am grateful that despite being far away, I get to make new memories like these often.

I am already looking forward to my next trip to New York in December.

With love,

Kristen Mary Carolan

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