At Ease

I’ve always enjoyed when a yoga class begins with the reminder to “set an intention”. The teacher often cues the class to take a deep breath and set an intention—an aim or plan—for the practice. When I used to teach yoga, I would often start my classes this way. Are you aiming to push your body to gain strength today? Is the plan to be gentle with yourself and take rests in child’s pose when needed? Is your intention to clear your mind of worries?

This practice has stuck with me over the years. What’s my intention? What is the goal here?

My goal, right now, is to be at ease. I thought about this on my way home from the doctor’s office on Friday. I just want to feel at ease.

Google describes at ease as “free from worry, awkwardness, or problems”.

Recently, I’ve struggled to make decisions with confidence. I often feel that I am left with a small pit in my stomach making me question “What should I do?”. I have never been an overly anxious person, and I hate the idea of being fearful, especially of the unknown. I can admit that recently I feel like there is a big question mark floating over my head most of the time. A feeling of unknowing, and as a result, a tinge of unease.

I wouldn’t normally characterize not-knowing as objectively bad, however recently it has made choices feel scary. Should I have toast for breakfast or a grapefruit? Maybe both? Should I buy this gift for my best friend or this one? Maybe neither?

These decisions I’m ruminating over are heavier than what to make for breakfast. Trust me, big choices have been plentiful.

Honestly, I would think with all of this practice it would be getting easier, to make decisions and feel content with my choice. But, they keep getting harder, bigger.

One thing that is guaranteed is that decisions won’t stop coming. So, for now, I will set an intention.

I feel comfortable in my choices. I know what is best and I am loved and supported.

What is your intention right now?

With love,

Kristen Mary Carolan

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